My christmas was pretty good. i spent it with my mom, sister, my 4 dogs, and our 2 new kittens. i got lots of wonderful gifts. a memory foam matress, eatable reindeers. lots of hygiene stuff, feety pajamas, a new wallet, boots, and belly botton rings. plus $100 from my grandpa. and a $100 gift card to Macys from my moms boyfriend. so im really excited.
i spent Christmas eve with my whole family. it is tradition for everyone to go to my grandmas house for the exchange of presents. it was really great to be able to see family members that i havent seen in a long time. everyone seems to be doing really good. all the little kids are getting really big and growing up fast.
me, my sister, and my aunt neena hung out most of the time as we usually do during these family functions. trying to avoid the drama and khaos of everyone else. we had lots of fun talking and catching up.
so most people look forward to christmas because they recieve gifts. they forget what christmas is really about. they forget that it is about the birth of little baby Jesus Christ. it is to celebrate the day he was born and all the things he did for human kind, like giving his own life to free us all from sin. this fact is lost in the excitement of food and presents. its truely sad. we all need to remember why this holiday even exists otherwise what is the point?
well i hope your Christmas was wonderful and you got everything you wished for.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone,
XoXo BabyyGurl!
Monday, December 26, 2011
How could someone do this!!!!!!
OK so i was walking down the street by this park bout 5 days ago so December 21st. my dog was walking with me and i was not holding his leash. a bunch of cars were driving by me woopdee doo. but then this one car slowed down a little bit infrount of me and threw out 2 little baby kittens. my dog ran up and snatched up one of them, it was orange, but he did not hurt it. so i took it out of his mouth. then picked up the other kitten. it was a little black one with white on its face. super cute!
after i picked them up and got my dog to calm down i called my friend that i had been staying with and told her what had happened. she said i couldn't take them to her house because her mom would kill me. so i called my mom and told her. she said that i could bring them to her house but she was calling animal regulation.
i brought the kittens inside and put them in a create. when i gave them food they ate it so fast like they had never eaten before. they were pretty skinny but not so skinny they were starving.
then i went and told my little sister about them. she freaked out and ran to the cage, and pulled out the little orange one. my mom told her not to get attached because animal regulation was coming for them in the morning.
we played with them until we went to bed and gave them baths because they smelled like they had been living in a trash can. when we put them into the bath water they started to lap it up. they were very skittish and hissed at us every time we got close to them.
i texted everyone i knew asking if they wanted them so that these poor little kitties didn't have to go to the pound. but no one would take them.
the next morning when animal regulation came my mom wouldn't talk to the man and told me to deal with it because i was the one who had found them. so i told the guy i didn't want my kittens to be taken. so he left. my mom was kinda upset but oh well she told me to deal with it. i wasn't about to let these poor kittens that had already been throw hell go to the pound where they were going to be put down.
so my sister and i have been working with them ever since and they have turned into wonderful little kitties. i gave the orange one to my sister and she named him Youngg Money. i kept the black one and named him Lil Gangsterr but i call him Kudder, he has even started coming to his name.
and guess what? we are keeping them! which we are quite excited about because our kitty meow had just passed away. so we are glad to have new little kitties. these poor little babies will now have a good forever home.
XoXo BabyyGurl!!!
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| Lil Gangsterr aka Kudder!!! |
i brought the kittens inside and put them in a create. when i gave them food they ate it so fast like they had never eaten before. they were pretty skinny but not so skinny they were starving.
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| Youngg Moneyy |
we played with them until we went to bed and gave them baths because they smelled like they had been living in a trash can. when we put them into the bath water they started to lap it up. they were very skittish and hissed at us every time we got close to them.
i texted everyone i knew asking if they wanted them so that these poor little kitties didn't have to go to the pound. but no one would take them.
the next morning when animal regulation came my mom wouldn't talk to the man and told me to deal with it because i was the one who had found them. so i told the guy i didn't want my kittens to be taken. so he left. my mom was kinda upset but oh well she told me to deal with it. i wasn't about to let these poor kittens that had already been throw hell go to the pound where they were going to be put down.
so my sister and i have been working with them ever since and they have turned into wonderful little kitties. i gave the orange one to my sister and she named him Youngg Money. i kept the black one and named him Lil Gangsterr but i call him Kudder, he has even started coming to his name.
and guess what? we are keeping them! which we are quite excited about because our kitty meow had just passed away. so we are glad to have new little kitties. these poor little babies will now have a good forever home.
XoXo BabyyGurl!!!
Friday, December 16, 2011
Rest In Peace Meow! April 18, 2006 ~ dec. 15 2011
well tonight has been a rough night. i havent slept for 19 hours now.
my mom left me a message saying she and my sister had found my cat and she wasnt in good shape. so they took her to the vet. i called my mom and asked her to explain cuz i didnt even know my cat was missing. well it turns out she had been missing for about 3 days and no one even cared to tell me. and now she was laying on my moms bed with a broken pelvis and she was bleeding internally. her lungs were filling with fluid. she was in really bed shape.
i went to go see her. i didnt know if it was going to be the last time i would be able to see her or not, so i decided to go to my moms house.
Meow looked bad. she was barely breathing and was fighting to stay alive. the look in her eyes was really sad almost pathetic. i layed on the bed with her for a while talking to her telling her it would be ok. she would meow back at me like she usually did when i talked to her. only her meows were small and raspy. it broke my heart listening to her. she kept wanting to move around, but shse had to be still and sitting up so that she could breath better.
my mom was alternating towls in the dryer to keep her warm. we put a warm water bottle in the blankets with her as well.
after a so long of fighting of staying alive she gave up. she looked up at me with her big yellow eyes and stared into mine as if to say good bye then faded away. i watched as her life slipped away out of her body. it was the hardest thing i have ever seen. knowing there was nothing i could do to keep her alive and knowing that my cat was gone i stared to cry. my mom came back into the room and sat down on the bed. we both sat there in tears stroking the cats long soft fur. then she went out into the livingroom and got my sister. the three of us sat there all with tears in our eyes looking at our dead family member. there was such a depressing feel in the room.
no one really said to much. my mom said a little bit about having the cat stuffed. then my sister left the room. i sat there with my mom and the cat not knowing what to do. almost in denile thinking that Meow would lift her head up and meow at us and be ok. i didnt want to think that my little cat was dead.
we had gotten meow because when we were living in Mckinnelyville i had found a stray cat and was feeding her. then when she had kittens under a trailor, the lady living in the trailor caught all 4 kittens and the mama kitty i called Missy. she gave us Meow and took all the rest of the cats and killed them. Meow was the cutest out of all the kittens. she was calico but had a lot of white and big round sky blue eyes. which is why we named her Sky to begin with. but that later changed to Meow when she constantly would meow. she was a wild kitten and had to be tamed. so i sat in the bathroom with her for hours talking to her and slowly gaining her trust like i had done with her mother. soon i was able to pet her and soon after that i was holding her. my mother and sister were suprized when they opened the bathroom door and found me holding this wild kitten. but i have a calming effect on animals.
she was a good cat. and very funny. she thought she was one of the dogs. she would just walk up to a strainge dog and rub against them. i used to tell her one day she was going to be attacked, but strangely she never was. and she loved to go on walks with our boxer dog Buddy. one day she fallowed us on a walk all the way to the dog park, which is about a mile from our house.
she was a wonderful mother kitty aswell. she would even try to steal our other cat lolas babys because she knew lola was a bad mother. Meow had 4 kittens and then 2 weeks later Lola also had 4 kittens. most of the time when we checked on each litter Lola would have 2 or 3 kittens and Meow would have 5 or 6. so we would have to figure out which ones of Lolas kittens Meow kitty napped and bring them back to the right mama cat. this wasnt to had though because 3 of Lolas kittens were all black and one was black with brown strips. and Meow had 2 grey and white kittens, and orange and white kitten and then one identical to Lolas black and brown kitten. but Lolas kittens were smaller so thats how we could tell them apart.
Meow was a wonderful cat and was loved by many people.
Good bye Sky aka Meow Rest in Peace kitty. you will be forever loved, and never forgotten.
XoXo BabyyGurl!
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| Meow with her 4 babies |
i went to go see her. i didnt know if it was going to be the last time i would be able to see her or not, so i decided to go to my moms house.
Meow looked bad. she was barely breathing and was fighting to stay alive. the look in her eyes was really sad almost pathetic. i layed on the bed with her for a while talking to her telling her it would be ok. she would meow back at me like she usually did when i talked to her. only her meows were small and raspy. it broke my heart listening to her. she kept wanting to move around, but shse had to be still and sitting up so that she could breath better.
my mom was alternating towls in the dryer to keep her warm. we put a warm water bottle in the blankets with her as well.
after a so long of fighting of staying alive she gave up. she looked up at me with her big yellow eyes and stared into mine as if to say good bye then faded away. i watched as her life slipped away out of her body. it was the hardest thing i have ever seen. knowing there was nothing i could do to keep her alive and knowing that my cat was gone i stared to cry. my mom came back into the room and sat down on the bed. we both sat there in tears stroking the cats long soft fur. then she went out into the livingroom and got my sister. the three of us sat there all with tears in our eyes looking at our dead family member. there was such a depressing feel in the room.
 |
| She was such a pretty kitty |
no one really said to much. my mom said a little bit about having the cat stuffed. then my sister left the room. i sat there with my mom and the cat not knowing what to do. almost in denile thinking that Meow would lift her head up and meow at us and be ok. i didnt want to think that my little cat was dead.
we had gotten meow because when we were living in Mckinnelyville i had found a stray cat and was feeding her. then when she had kittens under a trailor, the lady living in the trailor caught all 4 kittens and the mama kitty i called Missy. she gave us Meow and took all the rest of the cats and killed them. Meow was the cutest out of all the kittens. she was calico but had a lot of white and big round sky blue eyes. which is why we named her Sky to begin with. but that later changed to Meow when she constantly would meow. she was a wild kitten and had to be tamed. so i sat in the bathroom with her for hours talking to her and slowly gaining her trust like i had done with her mother. soon i was able to pet her and soon after that i was holding her. my mother and sister were suprized when they opened the bathroom door and found me holding this wild kitten. but i have a calming effect on animals.
she was a good cat. and very funny. she thought she was one of the dogs. she would just walk up to a strainge dog and rub against them. i used to tell her one day she was going to be attacked, but strangely she never was. and she loved to go on walks with our boxer dog Buddy. one day she fallowed us on a walk all the way to the dog park, which is about a mile from our house.
she was a wonderful mother kitty aswell. she would even try to steal our other cat lolas babys because she knew lola was a bad mother. Meow had 4 kittens and then 2 weeks later Lola also had 4 kittens. most of the time when we checked on each litter Lola would have 2 or 3 kittens and Meow would have 5 or 6. so we would have to figure out which ones of Lolas kittens Meow kitty napped and bring them back to the right mama cat. this wasnt to had though because 3 of Lolas kittens were all black and one was black with brown strips. and Meow had 2 grey and white kittens, and orange and white kitten and then one identical to Lolas black and brown kitten. but Lolas kittens were smaller so thats how we could tell them apart.
Meow was a wonderful cat and was loved by many people.
Good bye Sky aka Meow Rest in Peace kitty. you will be forever loved, and never forgotten.
XoXo BabyyGurl!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Here we go again!!!
Well my little sister was let out of juvenile Hall 1 day before thanxgiving. and she was put in the care of my mother even though her Probation Officer still has custody of her. i had a feeling that it wasn't going to go well, but i kept my hope up and prayed that it would. my sister has been saying things are going OK lately until tonight.
she called me crying saying that things just weren't working out there and she couldn't get ahold of her P.O. so she called me. she said she wanted to run and almost did but she didn't want to end up in the Hall again so she stayed put. i told her to call the hall and have them contact her P.O. so she tryed.
i asked my grandma if we could go pick her up for a little while and she said yes. so we went and picked her up. i pretended to arrest her with fake handcuffs. as we were leaving my mom told me to have her back by 8pm.
when we were about half way back to my house my mom called and said we needed to have Savannah back home right then because probation called and said she needed to be home. she wouldn't give me any more information other then that.
but it turns out that earlier that day Savannah had tryed to give Brandon's(the 19 year old ex boyfriend) brother a letter and wanted it to get to Brandon. so my mom freaked out on her. which of course she would. Savannah is supposed to have no contact with Brandon and that would be considered contact.
so we took her back home.
i dont know how much longer she is going to stay at my moms house, but i have a feeling if it is much longer then things are going to start getting worse. my sister is not going to put up with my moms behavior and my mom wont put up with Savannah's behavior either. everything is just going to go south. which i knew was going to happen anyways. but life has to take its course and things have to play out as they need to and in the end everything will work out someway or another. i just keep praying that my little sister can keep herself out of trouble and get her life together again. sometimes i wish i could literally beat some since into her, but sadly that isn't going to work. i just have to let her make her mistakes and learn the hard way.
XoXo BabyyGurl
she called me crying saying that things just weren't working out there and she couldn't get ahold of her P.O. so she called me. she said she wanted to run and almost did but she didn't want to end up in the Hall again so she stayed put. i told her to call the hall and have them contact her P.O. so she tryed.
i asked my grandma if we could go pick her up for a little while and she said yes. so we went and picked her up. i pretended to arrest her with fake handcuffs. as we were leaving my mom told me to have her back by 8pm.
when we were about half way back to my house my mom called and said we needed to have Savannah back home right then because probation called and said she needed to be home. she wouldn't give me any more information other then that.
but it turns out that earlier that day Savannah had tryed to give Brandon's(the 19 year old ex boyfriend) brother a letter and wanted it to get to Brandon. so my mom freaked out on her. which of course she would. Savannah is supposed to have no contact with Brandon and that would be considered contact.
so we took her back home.
i dont know how much longer she is going to stay at my moms house, but i have a feeling if it is much longer then things are going to start getting worse. my sister is not going to put up with my moms behavior and my mom wont put up with Savannah's behavior either. everything is just going to go south. which i knew was going to happen anyways. but life has to take its course and things have to play out as they need to and in the end everything will work out someway or another. i just keep praying that my little sister can keep herself out of trouble and get her life together again. sometimes i wish i could literally beat some since into her, but sadly that isn't going to work. i just have to let her make her mistakes and learn the hard way.
XoXo BabyyGurl
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Cat Fight!!!!
well my night was rather interesting last night. i went out to old shasta to see my girly Jene and hang out with some other friends. i met them at a little store and she told me some girl was meetin up with us there so she could fight her. the story that led up to this was kinda confusing but some how Jene and this other chick Chelsea decided they needed to fight. so when the other girl pulled up in a little car and got out she had 2 guys and another chick with her named Shelsea. one of the guys instantly started talking shit to Jene and calling her names. so Jenes bf got in his face and within seconds they were scrappin. the two girls walked up to Jene and started talkin shit to her. tellin her it was her fault her bf was in a fight. then the girl slapped Jene so Jene wentt off on her. then the other girl started gettin on Jene and i wasnt going to let that happen so i got involved. all i remember after that was hitting one of the girls. then in was just like a cat fight. one girl was pulling my hair while the other was on Jene and she was on the ground against a rock. then some other girls broke it apart and said it wasnt goingto be like that. if there was going to be a fight it was going to be one on one. so thats where it ended.
but that whole time the guys were stillin fightin. it looked pretty bad and Jenes bf looked fucked up afterwards but it was only because he was bloody. when we got him back to the house and all cleaned up he barely had anything. just a small cut above his eyebrow and his earlobe was a little cut open. he said his nose had been bleeding also. but he got some good hits on the other guy also.
the chick fight was pretty lame and the girls we were fighting couldnt even talk shit. they only called Jene some names that was all. but oh well theyre just a couple of dumb fake bitches. the funniest part was that she was like "im not gunna hit you first im 18 n i dont wanna go to jail." so she had a little 13 year old girl with her. haha she cant even fight her own battles.
so that was my night..
XoXo BabyyGurl!
but that whole time the guys were stillin fightin. it looked pretty bad and Jenes bf looked fucked up afterwards but it was only because he was bloody. when we got him back to the house and all cleaned up he barely had anything. just a small cut above his eyebrow and his earlobe was a little cut open. he said his nose had been bleeding also. but he got some good hits on the other guy also.
the chick fight was pretty lame and the girls we were fighting couldnt even talk shit. they only called Jene some names that was all. but oh well theyre just a couple of dumb fake bitches. the funniest part was that she was like "im not gunna hit you first im 18 n i dont wanna go to jail." so she had a little 13 year old girl with her. haha she cant even fight her own battles.
so that was my night..
XoXo BabyyGurl!
Friday, November 11, 2011
My Job Interview!
ok so for the last like 5ish months my grandparents have been on me about getting a job. and i have been trying. but its hard. not many places are hiring. i turned in applications to like everywhere and got no calls. so i decided to try craigslist. i sent in resumes to about 10 places a day. and finally i got a call and got to schedule an interview!!! yey!
it was at Jimiz SouthWest Grill. it looks like its going to be a very cute place. the guy that interviewed me was really nice. his name was well jimi!!! imagine that! haha. he seemed to like me and said i would be perfect for the job.
i would be a waitress in training. so i would get to bus tables, maybe do dishes, and what ever else was needed. it actually sounds pretty fun to me. plus ill be getting money and be able to get my grandparents off my back. YEY!!!!
ok so i havent been hired yet! he said he will call me again next week to come in for a second interview and to meet his wife Nannette. (im not sure how that is spelled) but its a very unique name so she is probably pretty cool. jimi seems cool and like hed be fun to work with.
im really hoping that he hires me. he said there was some other people to interview and he was only goingto hire one or two people to be waitress assistants. but im really hoping i get hired. it would really be amazing if i did! then i could start saving up some money and be out in my own place by january like i have planned. but if idont get hired well then i guess i will have to try somewhere else. which will suck but thats ok it happens. but i have a good feeling about this place and i think its going to turn out good. ; )
XoXo BabyyGurl!
it was at Jimiz SouthWest Grill. it looks like its going to be a very cute place. the guy that interviewed me was really nice. his name was well jimi!!! imagine that! haha. he seemed to like me and said i would be perfect for the job.
i would be a waitress in training. so i would get to bus tables, maybe do dishes, and what ever else was needed. it actually sounds pretty fun to me. plus ill be getting money and be able to get my grandparents off my back. YEY!!!!
ok so i havent been hired yet! he said he will call me again next week to come in for a second interview and to meet his wife Nannette. (im not sure how that is spelled) but its a very unique name so she is probably pretty cool. jimi seems cool and like hed be fun to work with.
im really hoping that he hires me. he said there was some other people to interview and he was only goingto hire one or two people to be waitress assistants. but im really hoping i get hired. it would really be amazing if i did! then i could start saving up some money and be out in my own place by january like i have planned. but if idont get hired well then i guess i will have to try somewhere else. which will suck but thats ok it happens. but i have a good feeling about this place and i think its going to turn out good. ; )
XoXo BabyyGurl!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Oh so Overwhelming!!!!
ok so i have WAY to much going on in right now. i feel like im in the middle of World War III and let me tell you it isnt fun. it seems as if these days nothing is going the way i feel they should be. everything seems to be falling apart.
first off one thing i would change is the fact that my best friend aka my little sister is locked away in this wonderful place they call Juvenille Hall. and why? well because she was dating a 19 year old creep that was trying to control her. he wouldnt let her go to school. barely let her see friends. cheated on her. and used her from whatever he could. but was somehow able to convince her he loved her. so she is now locked up to be kept away from him. oh and because she "threatened" to kill my mom. haha. i dont blame her though. so while im dealing with a mass collection of absolute chaos the one person i need the most has been taken away from me.
secondly my other best friend aka my fiance jonny is also locked up. but he would be in prison. why? because his dumb ass had a horribly dumbass moment with some "friends" of his. they decided that it would be fun to rob a smoke shop. and they got caught. so the court made him sign a 2 year LID. and he got bailed out of jail by his aunt who at first was pretty cool but then turned into a crazy lady. yea. she was crazy. she called MY cell phone and left messages that were well.... hmmm...... CRAZY status!!! ok so back to this LID. it means if he messed up one more time he would have to do 2 years in state prison. well for a while he was doing extremely good. then he decided it would be a good idea to buy a stolen car. and his dumb ass got caught with this stolen car and went to jail again!!! ugh! grrr! GRAWR!!! ok so this one was a book and release. thankfully.
then one night while i was taking his doggy out to go to the bathroom and im walking down the street i see cop lights flashing. and i didnt think much of it. until i got closer and realized my boyfriend was sitting on the curb in handcuffs with 4 of his friends. and i was pissed! severly pissed. so i kept walking. but he said "wait. please wait. i didnt do anything i promise." so i decided to wait. the cop came and talking to me and said that he had a warrent out because he missed a juvenille court date. which he says he didnt know about. and he was going to juvenille hall for the night. yey! ugh!
well the next day was his sentencing court date for the jail. and he was sentenced to prison for 2 years. when he told me this i thought i was going to die. but his best friend kept me from going insane. he told me it would be ok. i dont know why but for some reason he was able to keep me some what happy as i watched my world fall down before me. he made me believe everything was going to be ok. for 2 days after that he wouldnt let me go home. he made me stay with him for 2 nights because he wasnt going to let me go home and wallow and do god knows what. he had to make sure i wasnt going to do anything stupid.
well this friend i became kinda attached to. id leave my house almost every day hoping i could find him. because he could always cheer me up. the funny thing is he always made fun of me. he called me bitch, or it, jonnys slave. but it was comforting. im not sure why. he was alot like jonny and in a way made me feel like jonny was still there.
well on september 2nd 2011 this wonderful person died. maybe of an overdose. or natural causes. but either way it was unfair. and having to tell my boyfriend that his bestfriend was dead was honestly the hardest thing i had ever done. most people told me not to tell him. to wait till he got out. but i had to tell him. he needed to know. if he found out when he got out it would be alot worse. so i told him.
another thing im dealing with is the realization that i cant change my mom. its hard to explaine the way she is and you kinda have to know her to understand. but its difficult for me and my sister. growing up we were constntly yelled at for nothing. always judged by her. it made us feel worthless nad pathetic. she would hit us and then deny it. she has a problem with not thinking she has a problem. she has really bad mood swing sometimes. she tryed to keep us icolated from family because they were "brain washing" us. she had multiple boyfriends that were shady and couldnt be trusted. they were either on drugs or alcoholics. and would hurt her kids but she looked away from it like it never happened. she doesnt believe she did anything wrong and wont appologize to use.
i thought for the longest time i could change her and i tryed so hard but every time i tryed i got let down. i would get my hopes up and try so hard but no change was made. so i have to realize shes not going to change and she is who she is. so i have to learn to live with that.
im also dealing with my little sisters (who is 14) ex boyfriend (who is 19) pretty much stalking me. there is a restraining order against him but he still feels the need to text me daily multiple times. i havent replied to any of these messages for about 3 weeks but he continues to text me. its annoying and getting creepy. he was a creeper from the first day i met him. i just want him to stop texting me and leave me alone. the most messed up thing is that he says he is in love with my sister but a week after she is locked up he trys hooking up with me. hes a pervert! like im not going to tell my little sister about it. or my boyfriend? who already completely hates him. hes seriously stupid. and not only did he try gettin wit me, he also tryed to get with my friend jesecha who also is goingto tell my sister about it. sh he pretty much fucked him self over. dumb stupid bastard. haha. whatever its his mistake.
so that is just a summery of my issues that im dealing with and its not fun. completely overwhelming and exhasting. makes me want to stay in bed and sleep all day but i cant. im trying to deal with all of it the best i can and try to stay possitive. im trying to stay focused on my future and what i need to do to make sure it doesnt come crashing down like my past always. because now that i am 18 and leagally an adult i have to take responsibility off my life and can actually make it what i want it!
well its late, im tired, and im going to bed.
XoXo BabyGurl
first off one thing i would change is the fact that my best friend aka my little sister is locked away in this wonderful place they call Juvenille Hall. and why? well because she was dating a 19 year old creep that was trying to control her. he wouldnt let her go to school. barely let her see friends. cheated on her. and used her from whatever he could. but was somehow able to convince her he loved her. so she is now locked up to be kept away from him. oh and because she "threatened" to kill my mom. haha. i dont blame her though. so while im dealing with a mass collection of absolute chaos the one person i need the most has been taken away from me.
secondly my other best friend aka my fiance jonny is also locked up. but he would be in prison. why? because his dumb ass had a horribly dumbass moment with some "friends" of his. they decided that it would be fun to rob a smoke shop. and they got caught. so the court made him sign a 2 year LID. and he got bailed out of jail by his aunt who at first was pretty cool but then turned into a crazy lady. yea. she was crazy. she called MY cell phone and left messages that were well.... hmmm...... CRAZY status!!! ok so back to this LID. it means if he messed up one more time he would have to do 2 years in state prison. well for a while he was doing extremely good. then he decided it would be a good idea to buy a stolen car. and his dumb ass got caught with this stolen car and went to jail again!!! ugh! grrr! GRAWR!!! ok so this one was a book and release. thankfully.
then one night while i was taking his doggy out to go to the bathroom and im walking down the street i see cop lights flashing. and i didnt think much of it. until i got closer and realized my boyfriend was sitting on the curb in handcuffs with 4 of his friends. and i was pissed! severly pissed. so i kept walking. but he said "wait. please wait. i didnt do anything i promise." so i decided to wait. the cop came and talking to me and said that he had a warrent out because he missed a juvenille court date. which he says he didnt know about. and he was going to juvenille hall for the night. yey! ugh!
well the next day was his sentencing court date for the jail. and he was sentenced to prison for 2 years. when he told me this i thought i was going to die. but his best friend kept me from going insane. he told me it would be ok. i dont know why but for some reason he was able to keep me some what happy as i watched my world fall down before me. he made me believe everything was going to be ok. for 2 days after that he wouldnt let me go home. he made me stay with him for 2 nights because he wasnt going to let me go home and wallow and do god knows what. he had to make sure i wasnt going to do anything stupid.
well this friend i became kinda attached to. id leave my house almost every day hoping i could find him. because he could always cheer me up. the funny thing is he always made fun of me. he called me bitch, or it, jonnys slave. but it was comforting. im not sure why. he was alot like jonny and in a way made me feel like jonny was still there.
well on september 2nd 2011 this wonderful person died. maybe of an overdose. or natural causes. but either way it was unfair. and having to tell my boyfriend that his bestfriend was dead was honestly the hardest thing i had ever done. most people told me not to tell him. to wait till he got out. but i had to tell him. he needed to know. if he found out when he got out it would be alot worse. so i told him.
another thing im dealing with is the realization that i cant change my mom. its hard to explaine the way she is and you kinda have to know her to understand. but its difficult for me and my sister. growing up we were constntly yelled at for nothing. always judged by her. it made us feel worthless nad pathetic. she would hit us and then deny it. she has a problem with not thinking she has a problem. she has really bad mood swing sometimes. she tryed to keep us icolated from family because they were "brain washing" us. she had multiple boyfriends that were shady and couldnt be trusted. they were either on drugs or alcoholics. and would hurt her kids but she looked away from it like it never happened. she doesnt believe she did anything wrong and wont appologize to use.
i thought for the longest time i could change her and i tryed so hard but every time i tryed i got let down. i would get my hopes up and try so hard but no change was made. so i have to realize shes not going to change and she is who she is. so i have to learn to live with that.
im also dealing with my little sisters (who is 14) ex boyfriend (who is 19) pretty much stalking me. there is a restraining order against him but he still feels the need to text me daily multiple times. i havent replied to any of these messages for about 3 weeks but he continues to text me. its annoying and getting creepy. he was a creeper from the first day i met him. i just want him to stop texting me and leave me alone. the most messed up thing is that he says he is in love with my sister but a week after she is locked up he trys hooking up with me. hes a pervert! like im not going to tell my little sister about it. or my boyfriend? who already completely hates him. hes seriously stupid. and not only did he try gettin wit me, he also tryed to get with my friend jesecha who also is goingto tell my sister about it. sh he pretty much fucked him self over. dumb stupid bastard. haha. whatever its his mistake.
so that is just a summery of my issues that im dealing with and its not fun. completely overwhelming and exhasting. makes me want to stay in bed and sleep all day but i cant. im trying to deal with all of it the best i can and try to stay possitive. im trying to stay focused on my future and what i need to do to make sure it doesnt come crashing down like my past always. because now that i am 18 and leagally an adult i have to take responsibility off my life and can actually make it what i want it!
well its late, im tired, and im going to bed.
XoXo BabyGurl
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