Monday, November 28, 2011

Here we go again!!!

Well my little sister was let out of juvenile Hall 1 day before thanxgiving. and she was put in the care of my mother even though her Probation Officer still has custody of her. i had a feeling that it wasn't going to go well, but i kept my hope up and prayed that it would. my sister has been saying things are going OK lately until tonight.

she called me crying saying that things just weren't working out there and she couldn't get ahold of her P.O. so she called me. she said she wanted to run and almost did but she didn't want to end up in the Hall again so she stayed put. i told her to call the hall and have them contact her P.O. so she tryed.

i asked my grandma if we could go pick her up for a little while and she said yes. so we went and picked her up. i pretended to arrest her with fake handcuffs. as we were leaving my mom told me to have her back by 8pm.

when we were about half way back to my house my mom called and said we needed to have Savannah back home right then because probation called and said she needed to be home. she wouldn't give me any more information other then that.

but it turns out that earlier that day Savannah had tryed to give Brandon's(the 19 year old ex boyfriend) brother a letter and wanted it to get to Brandon. so my mom freaked out on her. which of course she would. Savannah is supposed to have no contact with Brandon and that would be considered contact.

so we took her back home.

i dont know how much longer she is going to stay at my moms house, but i have a feeling if it is much longer then things are going to start getting worse. my sister is not going to put up with my moms behavior and my mom wont put up with Savannah's behavior either. everything is just going to go south. which i knew was going to happen anyways. but life has to take its course and things have to play out as they need to and in the end everything will work out someway or another. i just keep praying that my little sister can keep herself out of trouble and get her life together again. sometimes i wish i could literally beat some since into her, but sadly that isn't going to work. i just have to let her make her mistakes and learn the hard way.

XoXo BabyyGurl

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Cat Fight!!!!

well my night was rather interesting last night. i went out to old shasta to see my girly Jene and hang out with some other friends. i met them at a little store and she told me some girl was meetin up with us there so she could fight her. the story that led up to this was kinda confusing but some how Jene and this other chick Chelsea decided they needed to fight. so when the other girl pulled up in a little car and got out she had 2 guys and another chick with her named Shelsea. one of the guys instantly started talking shit to Jene and calling her names. so Jenes bf got in his face and within seconds they were scrappin. the two girls walked up to Jene and started talkin shit to her. tellin her it was her fault her bf was in a fight. then the girl slapped Jene so Jene wentt off on her. then the other girl started gettin on Jene and i wasnt going to let that happen so i got involved. all i remember after that was hitting one of the girls. then in was just like a cat fight. one girl was pulling my hair while the other was on Jene and she was on the ground against a rock. then some other girls broke it apart and said it wasnt goingto be like that. if there was going to be a fight it was going to be one on one. so thats where it ended.
but that whole time the guys were stillin fightin. it looked pretty bad and Jenes bf looked fucked up afterwards but it was only because he was bloody. when we got him back to the house and all cleaned up he barely had anything. just a small cut above his eyebrow and his earlobe was a little cut open. he said his nose had been bleeding also. but he got some good hits on the other guy also.

the chick fight was pretty lame and the girls we were fighting couldnt even talk shit. they only called Jene some names that was all. but oh well theyre just a couple of dumb fake bitches. the funniest part was that she was like "im not gunna hit you first im 18 n i dont wanna go to jail." so she had a little 13 year old girl with her. haha she cant even fight her own battles.

so that was my night..

XoXo BabyyGurl!

Friday, November 11, 2011

My Job Interview!

ok so for the last like 5ish months my grandparents have been on me about getting a job. and i have been trying. but its hard. not many places are hiring. i turned in applications to like everywhere and got no calls. so i decided to try craigslist. i sent in resumes to about 10 places a day. and finally i got a call and got to schedule an interview!!! yey!
it was at Jimiz SouthWest Grill. it looks like its going to be a very cute place. the guy that interviewed me was really nice. his name was well jimi!!! imagine that! haha. he seemed to like me and said i would be perfect for the job.
i would be a waitress in training. so i would get to bus tables, maybe do dishes, and what ever else was needed. it actually sounds pretty fun to me. plus ill be getting money and be able to get my grandparents off my back. YEY!!!! 

ok so i havent been hired yet! he said he will call me again next week to come in for a second interview and to meet his wife Nannette. (im not sure how that is spelled) but its a very unique name so she is probably pretty cool. jimi seems cool and like hed be fun to work with.

im really hoping that he hires me.  he said there was some other people to interview and he was only goingto hire one or two people to be waitress assistants. but im really hoping i get hired. it would really be amazing if i did! then i could start saving up some money and be out in my own place by january like i have planned. but if idont get hired well then i guess i will have to try somewhere else. which will suck but thats ok it happens. but i have a good feeling about this place and i think its going to turn out good. ; )

XoXo BabyyGurl!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Oh so Overwhelming!!!!

ok so i have WAY to much going on in right now. i feel like im in the middle of World War III and let me tell you it isnt fun. it seems as if these days nothing is going the way i feel they should be. everything seems to be falling apart.

first off one thing i would change is the fact that my best friend aka my little sister is locked away in this wonderful place they call Juvenille Hall. and why? well because she was dating a 19 year old creep that was trying to control her. he wouldnt let her go to school. barely let her see friends. cheated on her. and used her from whatever he could. but was somehow able to convince her he loved her. so she is now locked up to be kept away from him. oh and because she "threatened" to kill my mom. haha. i dont blame her though. so while im dealing with a mass collection of absolute chaos the one person i need the most has been taken away from me.

secondly my other best friend aka my fiance jonny is also locked up. but he would be in prison. why? because his dumb ass had a horribly dumbass moment with some "friends" of his. they decided that it would be fun to rob a smoke shop. and they got caught. so the court made him sign a 2 year LID. and he got bailed out of jail by his aunt who at first was pretty cool but then turned into a crazy lady. yea. she was crazy. she called MY cell phone and left messages that were well.... hmmm...... CRAZY status!!!  ok so back to this LID. it means if he messed up one more time he would have to do 2 years in state prison. well for a while he was doing extremely good. then he decided it would be a good idea to buy a stolen car. and his dumb ass got caught with this stolen car and went to jail again!!! ugh! grrr! GRAWR!!! ok so this one was a book and release. thankfully.
then one night while i was taking his doggy out to go to the bathroom and im walking down the street i see cop lights flashing. and i didnt think much of it. until i got closer and realized my boyfriend was sitting on the curb in handcuffs with 4 of his friends. and i was pissed! severly pissed. so i kept walking. but he said "wait. please wait. i didnt do anything i promise." so i decided to wait. the cop came and talking to me and said that he had a warrent out because he missed a juvenille court date. which he says he didnt know about. and he was going to juvenille hall for the night. yey! ugh!
well the next day was his sentencing court date for the jail. and he was sentenced to prison for 2 years. when he told me this i thought i was going to die. but his best friend kept me from going insane. he told me it would be ok. i dont know why but for some reason he was able to keep me some what happy as i watched my world fall down before me. he made me believe everything was going to be ok. for 2 days after that he wouldnt let me go home. he made me stay with him for 2 nights because he wasnt going to let me go home and wallow and do god knows what. he had to make sure i wasnt going to do anything stupid.

well this friend i became kinda attached to. id leave my house almost every day hoping i could find him. because he could always cheer me up. the funny thing is he always made fun of me. he called me bitch, or it, jonnys slave. but it was comforting. im not sure why. he was alot like jonny and in a way made me feel like jonny was still there.
well on september 2nd 2011 this wonderful person died. maybe of an overdose. or natural causes. but either way it was unfair. and having to tell my boyfriend that his bestfriend was dead was honestly the hardest thing i had ever done. most people told me not to tell him. to wait till he got out. but i had to tell him. he needed to know. if he found out when he got out it would be alot worse. so i told him.

another thing im dealing with is the realization that i cant change my mom. its hard to explaine the way she is and you kinda have to know her to understand. but its difficult for me and my sister. growing up we were constntly yelled at for nothing. always judged by her. it made us feel worthless nad pathetic. she would hit us and then deny it. she has a problem with not thinking she has a problem. she has really bad mood swing sometimes. she tryed to keep us icolated from family because they were "brain washing" us. she had multiple boyfriends that were shady and couldnt be trusted. they were either on drugs or alcoholics. and would hurt her kids but she looked away from it like it never happened. she doesnt believe she did anything wrong and wont appologize to use.
 i thought for the longest time i could change her and i tryed so hard but every time i tryed i got let down. i would get my hopes up and try so hard but no change was made. so i have to realize shes not going to change and she is who she is. so i have to learn to live with that.

im also dealing with my little sisters (who is 14) ex boyfriend (who is 19) pretty much stalking me. there is a restraining order against him but he still feels the need to text me daily multiple times. i havent replied to any of these messages for about 3 weeks but he continues to text me. its annoying and getting creepy. he was a creeper from the first day i met him. i just want him to stop texting me and leave me alone. the most messed up thing is that he says he is in love with my sister but a week after she is locked up he trys hooking up with me. hes a pervert! like im not going to tell my little sister about it. or my boyfriend? who already completely hates him. hes seriously stupid. and not only did he try gettin wit me, he also tryed to get with my friend jesecha who also is goingto tell my sister about it. sh he pretty much fucked him self over. dumb stupid bastard. haha. whatever its his mistake.

so that is just a summery of my issues that im dealing with and its not fun. completely overwhelming and exhasting. makes me want to stay in bed and sleep all day but i cant. im trying to deal with all of it the best i can and try to stay possitive. im trying to stay focused on my future and what i need to do to make sure it doesnt come crashing down like my past always. because now that i am 18 and leagally an adult i have to take responsibility off my life and can actually make it what i want it!

well its late, im tired, and im going to bed.

XoXo BabyGurl