Theres Gunna Be A Baby!!!!

Well today i found out Im pregnant! i have had my suspisions the last couple of days but i wasnt sure. so today i went itno the clinic with my friend Janel and got a test done. it came out possitive! i didnt know what to do or say when they told me this. my jaw dropped and i couldnt stop smiling. it was a crazy unexplainable feeling. so many things were running through my head. i was super excited, hella nerves and sorta scared, but overall really happy. i was super excited to go home and tell Jonny. i couldnt wait to see his reaction.
    when we walked back up to the apartment he was sitting outside on the balcony waiting for us. when he saw us he stood up and walked over to me. the first words out of his mouth were "so what did they say" nd i said "it came out positive". he instantly wrapped his arms around me and wouldn't let go for like 2 minutes. in that moment i felt so happy and so loved. knowing that this was my family and nothing could go wrong in it. that now we were responsible for a kids life and how we raised them would affect the rest of their lifes. ok that thought made me a little more scared but deep down i knew that everything would be ok one way or another we would be just fine. we had seen all the mistakes our parents had made, so we just had to stay away from all that.
    people say i would make a good mom but i really dont know. im impatient, get upset easily, im easily frusterated, and confused alot. but if i have baby sat plenty of kids and have lots of experience with children so i know ill be fine. but i will admit i am also very scared.

ill keep you all updated on this topic and let you know how the pregnancy is going.

wish my luck babes,
X0X0 BabyyGurl

Fathers Day you SUCK!!!!

So this lovely day called fathers day comes around once a year. its a day for all the fathers in the world to be appreciated and thanked for being such awesome dads. so does this mean that all the fathers around the world that walked out on their children get to share this day with all the fathers who actually did their jobs? HELL NO!!!!!
     As one of those kids that grew up without a father I would love to tell all you dads who think you can even call yourself that when you walked out on your child how this day makes me feel:
     well first off it makes me feel a little upset, unwanted, hmm a little unloved, uncared for, like im missing out, unappreciated, and all those other good feelings but with an "un" in front of them. as a matter of fact I dont even think of my "father" as a father he is simply a sperm donor. Yep thats all he is to me. And I know I am not the only kid that feels this way. there are so many others out there.

So for all you "fathers" heres some advice:
1) Cover your stump before you hump
2) Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3) Don't be silly, protect your Willie
4) When in doubt shroud you spout
5) Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6) You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong
7) If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8) If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9) It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
10) If you slip between her thighs, condomize
11) She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12) If you go into heat, package your meat
13) While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis
14) When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse
15) Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16) Never ever deck her, with an unwrapped pecker
17) Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18) The right selection, is to protect your erection
19) Wrap it in foil, before you check her oil
20) A crank with armor, will never harm her
21) If you really love her, wear a cover
22) Don't make a mistake, cover your snake
23) Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener
24) If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket
25) No glove, no love
26) If you think she'll sigh, cover old one eye
27) Even If she's eager, protect her beaver
28) No one likes a horses ass, protect yourself at climax
29) Shield her from the hunt until you shoot her in the cunt
30) Avoid a frown, contain your clown
31) Harness the pygmy man before entering the bearded clam
32) Constrain the little head before you stick it in the shed
33) Put a condom on your dink before you dart it in her sink
34) The weasel you must surround before you please her on the ground
35) Cloak the joker before you poke her
36) Encase that torch before you paint her porch
37) Cape your throbber before you bob her
38) After detection sheath your erection
39) Before you penetrate hide your magistrate
40) Don't surprise her plug your Geyser
41) Cover that lumber before you pump her
42) Protect her wrinkle before you sprinkle
43) She won't bristle if you wrap your whistle
44) House your noodle then release your strudel
45) Put your dog in the pound and make her yelp like a hound
46) Shelter your jerky then nab that turkey
47) Cage that snake then shake and bake
48) Cover your peter it will be much neater
49) Coat that Labrador then allow him to explore
50) It's always funky to cage your monkey
51) It won't be funny with a coatless dummy
52) It won't be fun with an unwrapped thumb
53) It's not much money to catch your honey
54) Don't be a fool cover your tool
55) Hood that match then scratch that thatch
56) Stitch that switch then itch her niche
57) Wrap that tool to catch the drool
58) It ain't no jibe to protect her hive
59) Contain that sputum before you use him
60) Restrain your log then plow her bog
61) Glove your pecker before you check her
62) Coat that slimer before you prime her
63) Condomize then womanize
64) Cover old pete then grind her meat
65) Guard your peter before you meet her
66) Check your list before you tryst
67) Wrap your bate before you mate
68) Can your worm before you squirm
69) Cover your pipe you dumb ass wipe
70) Contain your lizard then tickle her gizzard
71) Bag the mole then do her hole
72) Cuff your carrot before you share it
73) Jail your number then call the plumber
74) Cover your vein then drive her insane
75) Wrap that pickle then slip her a tickle
76) Protect your dink then fluff her mink
77) Restrain your lantern then stick it in her cavern
78) Hide ole harry then take her cherry
79) Wrap that spout then bore her out
80) Conceal your train don't cause her pain
81) Guard your bridge then do her ridge
82) Shroud your trout then make her shout
83) To make her squat like a turkey, cover your Jerky
84) Box your blister then poke her in the whiskers
85) Wrap your spout to catch the trout
86) Plug your funnel then enter the tunnel
87) Cover your steamer before you ream her
88) Protect that fish then dip it in the dish
89) Contain that bass for a swim in her glass
90) Be sure to wear it to feed her ferret
91) Clothe the boner before you hone her
92) Got no protection? Can't use your erection!
93) Cork your pump or you don't hump
94) No unwrapped stags get between my legs
95) Dress that erection to make a deflection
96) Contain that shanker before you spank her
97) Cap that seeder before you breed her
98) Stop the stream before you cream
99) Secure that ladder then drain your bladder
100) Protect your screw to catch that glue
101) Package your meat for a real neat treat
102) Holster your gun then shootings more fun
103) Canvas that trailer before you nail her
104) Garage the tractor then attack her
105) Net that grass hopper before you pop her
106) Sock that wanger before you bang her
107) Pen that rooster, she'll be much looser
108) Trim your hardwood then do her real good
109) Garnish your oak then give her a poke
110) Pouch your associate then go fornicate
111) Smother your affiliate before you ejaculate
112) Confine your fascinate before it regurgitates
113) Catch that goat before it bloats
114) Ensnare that barbarian then do her abdomen
115) Restrain your hammer then wam bam her
116) Prune that stalk then make her squawk
117) Wrap that rod then please her bod
118) Sheath that knife she ain't your wife
119) House that bottle then mash her throttle
120) Sash that hash then thrash that gash
121) Cover your diddle then fiddle her middle
122) Can your knob then throb her swab
123) Contain old Doug then clean her rug
124) Cover your limb before you swim
125) Retain your bailer then impail her
126) Rope your dope then make some soap
127) Net your salamander then make salad in her
128) Cap your flapper then sniff her snapper
129) Wrap that Steed then trample her weeds
130) Hat that chef then scramble her cleft
131) Cover your stone before you bone
132) House your hose then curl her toes
133) Saddle your penis then straddle her mean ass
134) Blanket your twitch then hump that bitch
135) Shield your rocks then pond her box
136) Cover old sly then do her dry
137) Wrap your rail then fill her pail
138) Glove your chimney before you come in me
139) If your nude tube your dude
140) Cloak your hitter then go split her
141) Wrap your nipper before you dip her
142) Can your spam then bam that mam
143) Corral your ram then slice her ham
144) Sheath your sliver then jab her liver
145) Twist your wick then stick that prick
146) Cover old Bart then dart her tart
147) Shed old spot then do her slot
148) Drawer your pip then split her lips
149) Contain that leach then mash her peach
150) Bag your elm then take the helm
151) Constrain your gem to catch the flem
152) Catch that head cheese or I won't spread these
153) Constrain that agate you ain't no faggot
154) Survey your land then plant her stand
155) Before you drive her protect that diver
156) Sack that slimy smelt then tan her beaver pelt
157) Wrap that stiffer then let him sniff her
158) Cover you post then slice her roast
159) Blanket old juicy then plug old loosey
160) Balloon your baboon the moon tune her poon
161) Contain that viper before you pipe her

Get it? If your going to dip out on a kid then you don't deserve one. 






ok so enough sadness.

Thankyou to all those fathers who have stuck by your children and been there no matter what. you are amazing and really do deserve this day.

And to all of you dads who are raising someone other guys baby you are amazing as well. if you have the courage to step in you are a real man and a true father. good for you. kudos to you.

so as you can probably tell I have a hard time with this day each year. i do wonder what it would be like to have a father, but then if i did I wouldnt be the person I am today. 

Stay strong daddyless kiddies, nd to you with dads... you lucky bitches,
X0X0 BabyyGurl!!!    

 

My Sperm donor!!!

ok so last nite i blogged about my mom. and for some reason that really made me start thinking about my dad aka my sperm donor. ok no he was not like one of those guys who want to make money by jacking off into a tube and selling it to ladys that A. can get a guy to want to get them pregnant, B. think its best to raise a kid alone, C. the male in the relationship is sterile. nope that is not what my dad was. hes not nearly that cool and didnt make any money by donating his sperm to my mom.

you see him and my mom were togther in high school. a lovely couple. on drugs, that got into trouble, and well had me. my mom gave birth to me 4 months after turning 20. barely out of high school and definitly not ready for a kid. i guess neither of them were. because when i was 11 months old my dad decided to leave me and my mom. why you ask? good question. i really have no flippin idea. i have theorys. many of them. but the one that makes the most since to me was that it was too much for him. he had gotten himself into a situation he couldnt handle and left. and well perhaps loved drugs more then me. i honestly dont know.

and for most of my life my mother and my grandma say it has nothing to do with me. there is something wrong with him. well you know what is ironic about this? the fact that its my parents that are the ones with the problem not me.... my moms crazy and seems to hate me, but its not me, its her.... and my dad left me, but its not me, its him.
i guess i just dont get it. and as much as people tell me im not the one with the problem i cant help but to think maybe i am. maybe i cryed to much. maybe it was the fact that when i was a baby i smeered poop on the walls (yea embracing but oh well). i dont know what was wrong with me to drive him away.

the sad thing is though that i really know it wasnt my fault. i was a baby what could i do wrong i really didnt know any better. and i wasnt the only one he did this too. i have a little brother in some other state (my mom once told me he was in chicago) that my father was a sperm donor too as well, and who knows there could be more of us around this world just floatin around in complete confusion cuz our dad is a complete asshole!

i really hope that if i do have more brothers and sisters that their moms were able to find a good male father figure to be in their lifes so they dont have that empty "Wheres my dad?" feeling. because i know how that is. my mom tryed, uhhhh kinda, to finda a father figure for me. but every guy she picked was a complete fail. you see we have: abusive drugy, alcoholics, tweekers, and the creeps. there was one decent guy though that me and my little sister really liked, his name was Mike. and he was great. treated us good, took us fishing, watch cartoons with us, made us food. we really liked him alot, but sadly for us things didnt work out with him and my mom. why? maybe because he is too good for her.

dont get me wrong i love my moms current boyfriend as well. infact im wondering when hes gunna pop the question. really hope its soon. he treats her good as well and is good to me and my sister. hes family is really nice too. he has a good job, a house, and is all around a good guy.

but the thing is hes not MY dad. hes his sons dad. and i want my dad. and i want him to want me.

sometimes ill day dream about someone knocking on my door, or the phone ringing and it being him. then i could ask him all my question and we could start over. start a realationship and i wont feel so lost and confused. but i guess thats why they call it day dreaming! its only just a dream. either way its kinda fun to think about.

try to imagine who he mite be. a doctor? a vet? a target cashier? maybe a mail man? does he have a big house? or maybe an appartment? and a little dog named Scooter? 
or most like a drugy? an alcoholic? abusive? a creeper?  goes around knocking girls up and leaving? maybe even has like 12 kids now?

this is something i may never know. and it almost makes me feel like half of me is missing. like i know all the things i have gotten from my mom. my looks, my personality trait, i know which are from her. but which did i get from him. i have his hair my mom says. thanks dad!! for my awesome hard to manage curly insaine hair glad you could leave that when you decided to leave. really appreciating it. but what else do i have from him? i dont know.

every time i sit down and try to ask my mom questions she doesnt really tell me anything.
- he cussed alot.
- did drugs
- wasnt very nice
yea thats about as far as my knowledge of him goes. great.

i have tryed to find him on facebook, myspace, even yellowpages.com, but had no luck.
it sucks. i really feel for the kids in this world whos fathers, and even mothers have done this to as well. its not a very good feeling. abandoned. lost. confused. unwanted. mistreated. unfair. troubled. these are some of the things i feel.

maybe one day i can find him, and punch him in the face, then ask all the questions i need to ask. and after that if he still wants nothing to do with me then so be it!!! atleast i will have my answers. thats all i want is answers. i have lived this long without him im sure i can go on, i just want my answers dammit!!!

until next time,
XoXo BabyyGurl!!!