Fear Factor!!!

im sitting here with my cuzin Tristen watching Fear Factor! they are currently eatting scorpions. i cant imagine what that must be like. to feel them inside your mouth squirming around and stinging you. the gross taste of their blood ang guts surrounding your mouth. ewww gross!!!! icky icky no no!!!
my cuzin is freaking out with how gross it is. eatting those little creatures. its quit entertaining.

earlier we watched one where they had to drink coffee with either, flys, tomato worms, or stink bugs, and sour milk. it was so gross. i dont even want to think about what it would be like to have to drink that. i would think that the flys would be the easiest because they were dead so they couldnt fly away. they would be easiest because they wouldnt be squirming around. the tomato bugs would be the worst because they are so big and gross. plus i can just imagine the noise and the feeling of biting into these gross little bigs, the queeck!!! it would be terrible. the stink bugs would be really gross also because they would be crunch and smelly. ewwww!!!!!

another episode we watched they had to search in a pool of cows blood and find cow hearts. then they took turns using theyre mouths to throw the hearts into a bucket about 2 feet away from the pool. it looked so cross. a big pool of cows blood. ewww!!!! like a crime scene. and thinking about having a cows heart in your mouth is pretty gross also. not as gross as the other two things i dont think but thats only because i have a massive fear of bugs! expecially spiders!!!!

if i ever had to do anything like that with spiders i think i would cry and scream. maybe have a heart attack and die!!! i hate those little 8 legged creatures! with like 200 eyes that all stare at you! and it seems like every time i find one in my house or where ever they chase me and stare at me. i get all grossed out and feel like they are crawling on me! i dont like touching the ground and jump up on the nearest thing tpo me. thinking this will keep the thing away, but in all reality they climb. i start screaming and throwing things which make the thing move even more and makes my screaming even worse. usually someone will get a shoe or something and squish it. but even then i dont like going near the area it was and think that more are going to come out of everywhere and try to kill me.  they are the worst things in the world!!! i will never like them and never want anything to do with them.
i have a feeling that if i were to actually make it onto Fear Factor one day i would have to do something with spiders. maybe lay in a pool with them crawling around on me. ok i need to stop thinking about this because now i am starting to get all freaked out! ewww!!!

so pretty much Fear Factor is the craziest show in the world. crazyy crazzy stuff man!!! and the people that actually go on there is even crazier!!! why would they do that! and only for $50,000 its rediculous! id want atleast $100,000! maybe that would do it. i dont know. not if it was spiders though. nope nope nope! im good thank you and have a nice day. you can find someone else to participate in your games you wanna be Jig Saw!

well im going to stop blogging about this now before i gross myself out so much i dont want to eat any dinner.

live on my Loves

XoXo BabyyGurl!!!

Must Be Ment to Be!!!!

ok so i dont think i have said much about my dog Romeo which is weird because this dog is my whole life. im not even playing. i dont go anywhere without him unless i absolutely have to. we are together 24/7!!! and have been sence i got him on august 26 2010. we are pretty much inseperable! he has a weird story but very interesting.

ok so the summer of 2010 me and my friend harmony walked by this fence every day and there was a big pitbull mix dog that would jump up at the funce and growl. and we were terrified of this dog. so we started to cross the street before we got to this fence and walk by on the other side so he wouldnt scare us.

then one day we relized this dog was gone!

Steve a guy that is at the dog park alot with his little weiner dog/ pitbull mix Lucky had a new big brindle dog named Romeo. he was going to keep him but his dog Lucky had jealously issues so he had to find Romeo a new home. at this time i was Homeless with my little sister wondering the streets and wanted a big mean looking dog for pertection. i had wanted to get a wolf/husky/ pit mix but the lady never showed up at the dog park like we had planned, so i decided to get Romeo. he was a big Pitbull/ Great Dane mix and fit the part of the big mean looking dog i wanted. so i took him.

 then one day while me and my friend harmony were walking or dogs by that fence where the big mean dog used to be it hit us:
this dog i was walking on a leash was that dog!!!! and he wasnt mean at all. and he wasnt growling at us. we now know that when he gets bored he makes a noise alot like a growl but its his way of saying "hey im bored, pay attention to me!!"

this dog went everywhere with me. we ran around the streets of redding for weeks together. then one day when me and my boyfriend were staying with his uncle he let Romeo and the other dog Thor outside and Thor came back but not Romeo. i was really sad. so my boyfriend went looking for my "big dumb dog" (as he called him) but he loved him. and came back home empty handed.

later that day the cops showed up to the house looking for us because we were on the run and i was forced to go back home with my mom. and leave my poor doggy on the streets to defend for himself. i made signs and put them up and posted an add on craigslist but still found nothing. i started to loose hope thinking someone found him and decided to keep him.

Romeo doing what we call "Aligatoring!"

but then about 4 days later Steve the guy i got Romeo from called me and left a message at 2am saying Romeo had shown up at his door. so the next day i met him at the dog park and got my doggy back! i was so happy!!!

this dog became my bestfriend very quickly. he was my ride err die!!! i wasnt going to give him up for anything. he was so well behaved. did everything i told him to and learned new tricks really quickly. so when him and my moms boxer dog Buddy began fighting after 3 months of knowing each other and my mom tryed to make me get ride of him i once again ran away taking my dog with me. i went to my grandmas, but her and my grandpa didnt want a big dog at the house. so i didnt think i was going to be able to stay there very long and would have to go on to somewhere else. but Romeo with his awesomeness and Swag stole the hearts of my grandparents and was welcomed into the home.
he has done this with many people in the time that i have had him. he is aloud into many homes where dogs are not aloud because hes just that good of a dog. everyone loves him.

Romeo with baby Kudder and Layla!!!

so everything was going great with me and Romeo we were together all the time and never apart. it became weird not to have him with me. we went to the mall together, the dog park, walks, the river, parks, friends houses, everywhere.

then during the summer of 2011 i went to the Bay area with a girl i had just met. and left Romeo along with my boyfriends little puppy at a guys house i didnt know but the girl said they would be fine. well about 2 weeks after i left i recieved a call from a guy saying he had found my dog. so the girl called her friend and told him to go get Romeo. supposibly  he did. but the next day i had recieved another call from a lady saying she had found my dog in the same area and he had a tag that said FREE!!   well i freaked out! there was no way my dog was free. so i made the girl take me back to Redding to get my dog. i was pissed.

when i got him back i was very scared because he was alot skinnier then he was when i left him and had a lot of cuts. the first thing going threw my head was that he was being used for fighting, but he had no cuts on his ears of face. so i now think they were from the mass amounts of black berry vines in the area he was in. another thing that was worrying me was how he was walking. he was stumbling like he was drunk. and wouldnt walk for to long before laying down. so i called my grandma to see how much i had in the bank just incase he needed to go to the vet. but i didnt take him. after getting some water and some rest he was ok. and came around to his old self again.

at this point i was so happy to have him back and wasnt going to lose him again. i dont trust anyone but my grandparents, sister, and bestfriend harmony to watch him. other then that my dog is left with no one!!! i have really bad trust issues when it comes to him, but can you blame me? hes my bestfriend, we have been through alot together.

he was very tramatized by this expirence as well. every time i leave him for even just a little bit he gets scared and doesnt think i am coming back. he gets really sad. but i dont leave him too often.


ok so the other day i went on my myspace account to look at the pictures i had on there. i was looking at the ones of all the animals from haven humane that i took when i worked there and posted hoping people would see them and go adopt them. so here i was just lookin at them. awe cute kitty, doggie, puppy, another kitty.... OMG ITS ROMEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes there infrount of me was a picture of my Romeo at 5-6 months. and i had found out one day when i was at haven humane that he had been adopted out form there while i worked there. it was crazy!!! at first i questioned it. thinking: "no it cant be him"  but the after 3 days of looking at this picture i realized it was. the white on this puppys chest matches my Romeos. and he has his same little floppy ears. its definitly my dog!!!! crazy!!!
who would have know that i would have ended up with one of the puppies at the pound i wanted 2 years later!!!

this is one of those crazy pound puppy stories that is priceless!!!
well truth is this dog is priceless!!!

Me and Romeo Squirrel hunting!!!

i have actually had people offer me money for him, one guy even offered $500. and being homeless and all this would have help me and my little sister alot, but no!!! im not going to sell a family member form $500. that would be like selling my sister! im not that crazy! i love my Romeo to death and will have him til the day he decideds to leave this earth!

this dog is the sweetest, most lovable dog ever!!! he is so gentle and wouldnt hurt a fly! he fallows me eveywhere! even if its just across the room.
His favorite thing in the Whole world (besides me) is SQUIRELLS!!!! if you say this word he gets so happy and excited. i even got him a stuffed squirrel toy and he loves it. i really dont know what it about those little fuzzy cretures but he loves them!!!
everyone loves Romeo. hes just that cool. hes got Swag haha. no joke!!! Best dog in the world!!!  he is living proff that pound puppys are just as great if not better then your pure bred dogs!!! yea its true!!!

XoXo BabyyGurl!!!

My Jonny

well i have decided to write a blog about my amazing boyfriend. im going to try to prove everyone who thinks badly of him wrong. because um yea your wrong... so you can just sit there in your bubble or wrongness and be completely wrong.

ok first yes i will admit he has done so pretty flat out completely stupid stuff. its true we all know it. but that does not define who he is. we have all done things in our lifes we are not proud of. we are human and humans make mistakes. we make them and learn from them. and alot of people say to me, jonny doesnt learn from his mistake. uh yea your wrong again. yes he does. trust me he does.

now let me tell you about the Jonny i know. this Jonny is amazing.

he is the most caring person i know. he loves his family to dead. his little brother Christian means the world to him and more, hes always talking about him and how good christian is and how far hes going to go in life. how smart he is, and just how much he loves him. he want to do good for christian to show him he can be a good older brother. he wants christian to be a good kid and stay out of trouble. every letter i get asks about christian and how he is doing. if i have heard from him or have seen him lately. EVERY LETTER!!!!!!

and his dad gibson. he knows he has hurt gibson alot and is really sorry for it. he loves gibson alot also, but gets frusterated with him for reason i really am not going to put on here. but kinda good reasons. but still he cares so much about gibson and doesnt want anything bad to happen to him. i get asked alot about him in letters as well. the sad thing is i really dont know how he is doing because i have not talked to him in about like 6-7 months. it has been a while.

and his little sister charlotte. hes really scared for her. shes starting to get into trouble and that worries him. he doesnt want her to turn about like he did. and he is afraid its to late. he was so happy when i told him i saw her, but now that i havent heard from her in a while as well that kinda worries him.

now his mom and Aiden. where do i start. well he wants everything with his mom to be ok. infact he want to try and live with her. he talks about her alot and how much he loves her. she really means so much to him its crazy. but i think it is really cute.

Jonny loves his family. all of them. as confusing and as disfuncional as it all may be, he doesnt care, he loves all of them. hes just a very loving and caring person.

he has some really good friends as well. i have met alot of his friends and some of them i really like and others i dont. and no im not being a crazy jealous girlfriend. its just some of them i can see are going to be good for him and keep him up in life and then there are the ones who are just going to drag him down. the ones that are good for him to be around are ones he has known for quite a while. and they do not support his bad habits really. i mean yea they have gotten into some trouble together, but most friends have. but they are also good for him. these friends are there for me when i need them and who do anything for me only because i am Jonnys girlfriend and they know if im safe and ok when he gets out then he will be ok.
his Best Friend John Gilliland died not to long ago. and having to tell him this while he was in prison was really hard. i probably wrote how to tell him like 50 times trying  to figure out the best way to tell him, but no matter how i said it, it just didnt seem good enough. so i just flat out straight out told him. i had to. he needed to know. and it hurt him ALOT... it really did. he misses him so much. and i dont blame him, john was a great guy and anyone who knows him will agree.


ok now jonny treats me like a motha fuckin princess!!!!! its true. it really is. yea some times he can be a complete asshole nad i wanna slap the shit outta him, but im a complete bitch ta him also. but really when it comes down to it he treats me like a princess. or better if that is possible. i get annoyed sometimes with how much he tells me im beautiful and how lucky he is to have a girl like me even think about being with him.
he has always but up with my bitchy complaining about all the crap in my life that pisses me off n junk n not once said "Bitch just shut the fuck up and deal with it!" instead he just sits there with this smile on his face like "Daymn bitch your fuckin crazy, but so adorable so ill listen to this shit"

he loves my little sister as if she were her sister, infact they call each other brother n sister. he gets so mad every time i tell him she did something bad again. he knows how much stress it all put on me and wants to help. yea he did make a really bad mistake with her, but im not to mad about it anymore, althought it will never be fully forgotten or forgiven. and he knows that is part of the reason why she got into so much trouble. but he still cares for her so much and when it comes down to it would do anything he needed to for her. hed go kick some ass if he had to. and has. haha.

he is simply put. misunderstood. people only look at the things he has done wrong in his life and dont see all of the good. when really he is a great person. i think so. he has really made my life so much better. im way happier now because of him and i know what love is. he really has changed my life for the better.

i miss him so much now that he is gone. : ( but he will be back sooner then i realize : )   and everything will be good from then on!  but for now our realationship consists of words on paper. but those words on paper are what keep me going each day. they make my life so much better and happier. i look forward to his letter more then anything.


when he gets out i swear im going to be the happiest person alive. you dont even know. i litterally have dreams about this day. but fer now i must focus on everything but him getting out so that time goes by quicker. so i should probably stop writting now and maybe go to bed cuz its like almost 5am!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhh



well goodnight my lovelys!!!

XoXo BabyyGurl!!!

Up @ 3:30AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes well im awake rite now at 3:30am like i am on most mornings. why? honestly im not really sure... but it kinda sux really bad. cuz 2mro i gotta lot ta do. i  gotta dye my hair. im doin it dark brown wit blonde high lights. and maybe black underneith. but im not to sure bout the black yet. then i gotta go to DMV and get my Photo ID so that i can go register for classes at the college. which i really dont know if i can register for yet because well classes start in 2 days. and are probably full. so i may be shit outta luck, but oh well im gunna try anyways. plus i need my ID so i can go see if they can go see if i can do work days to pay off that ticket i got for Lil Boss. hopefully they will let me do that. if not well then im going to have to pay $50!!! ugh, shit, grrr!!! daymn lil doggie!!! but you see i cant even pay that ticket until i have the lil sucker registered. so that means i have to make my way out to haven humane and get the darn lil dog registered. so i have quite a few delemas.

my list of things ta do:
1. Dye hair
2. Get ID
3. try to register for classes
4. get Boss registered!
5. pay ticket!

my goal is to get all of those done this week. hopefully i can do it!

so i am taking some classes out at the college hopefully. so that i can get financial aide. thats really the mane reason i am doing these classes. and well to get my degree in Nursing. but rite now its mostly for the financial aide. im really hoping that i can get it. if i can them the classes im taking will go towards getting my degree.

Another delema i am facing is this: Anatomy!!!!
you see everyone says anatomy and microbiology are the two hardest classes for Nursing and if you can pass those then you will be able to get your degree. so i want to try and take Anatomy this semester to see if i can pass it and then i know i will be able to get my degree. but if i cant pass it then i know i cant get my degree. but my mom says that i should take some of the simpler classes and get used to the whole college setting, and she is right. but i dont want to take all these classes and not be able to pass Anatomy and have waisted my time with these classes. but i also want to pass anatomy. so i really dont know what to do.
but maybe i should listen to her and just take some of the simpler classes that way i will be able to get used to this whole college thing and be able to focus more on Anatomy next semester. and take some other more simpler classes with it. yes! i think that is what i shall do.

i want to get all my prerequisites out of the way this year so that i can go into the nursing program next year and then be done with that in 2 years. so i can have all my nursing school done in 3 years and then get a job. Then i shall be a hella hot 21 year old nurse haha. yup yup!

everyone says nursing is a good career cuz there is always going to be job openings and hospitals always need nurses. plus with in the next 5ish years all the baby boomer nurses will be retiring and theres goingto be a high demand of nurses. plus they make pretty good money! so im excited. im going to have an awesome job = awesome life.

and jonny said in his last letter that he is thinking about doing Graphic Design (honestly not sure what that is???) and aparently if hes is really good at it he will make bank also.so pretty much we will both have awesome high paying jobs, be hella successfull and be like: "Suck that anyone who said we were complete failures!!!!" yep haha. cuz alot of people think he is no good and is always going to be no good but i guess they dont see him like i do. ya kno what i think im gunna write a blog about him so then everyone can see him like i do haha.

well im feenin fer Dr. Pepper so im gunna go get one,

Drink up everyone.
XoXo BabyyGurl!!!

Update on Lil Boss!!!

i am happy ( and sad) to say my mom finally said it is ok for my little sister to have Boss. so they came over yesterday and picked him up. i was sad to see him ago and i miss having him around but its ok i can pretty much see him any time i want. hes only with my sister haha.

im really happy my mom said she could have him though it makes me so freakin happy. my sister loves that dog more then anything and really needs him. she needs something in this world to care about and to make her feel cared about. he will love her unconditionally and make her happy. thats all she really wants.

i know it is hard for people to understand the relationship me and my sister develope with our animals. most people think oh its just a dog, you have to get ride of it, so what, theres always going to be more. yea thats true there will always be more dogs. but those arent our dogs! we get our animals in special ways. they need us. they were abused, mistreated, or whatever else. either way there is a reason we get them. and we need them as well. our animals have always been the things to keep us going. as long as we have multiple naimals to take care of and keep us busy we feel ok. when we have none we have nothing.

like my dog Romeo. he would fallow me to the edge of a clif and jump off if i did it also. he loves me so much. and is my bestfriend. me and him have been throw alot together and when things got really rough we always had each other. i really dont know what i would do with out him, i would feel so alone and lost. it would make life so boring.

same with my sister. her best friend was her little doggy Tora. a really smart good dog. she was a great dog. but my mom got rid of Tora. which i kinda understand because savannah left her with my mom for a month and didnt take care of her which was wrong, but at the same time it was unfair for savannah to lose her dog. so i really dont know how i feel about that. Savannah loved Tora for the same reasons i love my dog. they love us unconditionally and always will. no matter what we do or say these dogs wouldnt care. all they know is to love us. so when savannah lost her little doggy she lost her feeling of love and her place in this world. i know because i had lost Romeo for 2 weeks once and it almost killed me. i actually became physically ill because of this.

Boss brings that feeling of love and value back to Savannah, she now feels a purpose in this world. to take care of Boss and make sure he is always ok. and this makes Savannah feel ok again. that is why i knew i had to find this dog for her and rescue him from the pound, not only was it the dog i was saving but also my sister.

i would litterally do anything for that little girl. she has done so much for me with out realizing it. if anything were to happen to  her i would freak out. i knew she needed boss, and no one would listen to me. "no she only wants him because he is a puppy" "she doesnt need him" "she will be fine without him" these are a few thing people would say to me when i would talk about how she needed him. well to anyone who said this to me FUCK YOU!!!!!!! im sorry but its true. you dont know my sisterl ike i do. you dont know what we have been through or how we feel. you dont know jackshit ok. she
NEEDS that dog.

maybe hes just a dog to you! but to her that dog means so much more. he is like her baby. like her kid. how would you feel if someone said to you "oh your kid is just a kid and nothing more" youd be pissed! because you know better. well same with us. you take our dogs away, your taking our kids away. and skrew you!!!

that is why i am really glad my sister got to have her doggy back. and if she ever needs to to watch him for her again she knows that i will. if anyone thinks they are going to take him away from her again you had better think again, because if you even try to do that your going to be dealing with me. and you wont like that very much!!!

well good luck in life all, i hope you get far and be happy!

XoXo BabyyGurl!!!